The speech that should change your life

Every once in a while I get inspired by something or someone. That is not to say that the inspiration lasts beyond the time span of a few minutes, but it means that I feel like there are dreams I have to achieve to make a change in the world.

This time, it was a graduation speech. It was Steve Jobs' Commencement Speech at Stanford. Perhaps you are already familiar with this particular speech, but for those who are not, the link is below:

This speech is very well-known and has been watched my millions around the world and even converted to different languages (as a quick glance through youtube search results will show you), but have people really appreciated its value?

For me, there were some quotes that I had heard before, such as "Stay Hungry Stay Foolish", without knowing where it had come from. But when I watched it again, recently, it really opened my eyes.

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish is the battle-cry for every person who devours the knowledge and experience with an intense curiosity to find out the underlying causes of things. It is the willingness to be a beginner and truly set off on a search for whatever it is you need.

To be happy in life you must have goals you want to reach always. If you have achieved a dream - dream another one. Dream bigger. If you are no longer 'hungry' it means you have lost the passion for life. You must always want more for yourselves.

Note, this does NOT mean that you are greedy for everything you don't have yet, but that you set yourself new challenges every day. You have new aspirations that you are working towards. Because without that, you don't have a reason for making your life better than it is.

One of the points he raises is:

"You've got to find what you love. 

And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. 

And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. 

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. 

So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

This is something which applies to each and every one of us, no matter what our situation is. I am guilty to have settled into a relationship which I knew from the beginning was below me and didn't give me the love or security that I craved. But it was the uncomfortable familiarity which I was finding next to impossible to let go of.

And the truth is that we are ALL guilty of settling somewhere in our lives. Bet you're shocked?

• Perhaps it's the well-paid job which takes up too much of your time?
• Maybe it is the boyfriend who doesn't treat you with love and respect?
• Is it the physical strength or stamina that you CAN improve, but you keep telling yourself that it is too late?
• Maybe it is the date that you didn't really want to go on, but you'd rather be dating then happily single?
• Perhaps you're comfortable living in the familiar town where you know many of the people,which doesn't offer any new challenges or new society, but where you are too comfortable to uproot yourself from?

Raise your hands if you're guilty of any of the above. If not, find out another place you may be settling.

Steve says "As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." And it is true. If you don't feel fulfilled, the chances are that you simply haven't found the thing/person/idea you need yet. And for you to find it, it is vital that you keep looking. Don't give up just because it has been too long and you feel like you're running out of time.

When I was a teenager I already felt like it was too late to become successful at anything specific because every successful person had started much earlier. Most business tycoons started in their late teens, most Olympic medallists started when they were 7 or 8 years old.

But that's not true. Someone once said you are never to old to dream a new dream. And it's true. 

You have a choice. You could go your entire life believing that it is 'too late' or you could take a jump and have a go at making that dream come true.

I once heard a story (real life) about a woman who had always dreamt about being a lawyer. She was in her thirties, fresh out of an abusive marriage, with young kids, when she finally decided to go for it. She went to an amazing law school and qualified to start practising as an attorney. Sure, it could have have happened earlier, but what is more important is that it happened at all.

I know how hard it is to find that one thing you love. Sometimes it feels like passion or love of a subject/thing/product is something that happens to other people, and not to me.

But it's not true. We are all capable of living satisfying, fulfilling lives and we have the ability to do just that if we find what we love to do and stop settling for 'good enough'.

But to do that we must get our priorities right.

Do you want to simply be married and have a family or do you want to be married to the right person and have a loving family? If you don't know your priorities you will have a hard time feeling fulfilled.

Jobs' goes on to say:

"you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only

 connect them looking backwards. 

So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."

And though this applies to everyone, everywhere, it especially applies to you if you are working on yourself after a break-up.

After a few months of No Contact with my ex-boyfriend I started to question whether anything I was doing was actually helping. I didn't feel better and I didn't feel like I was missing him any less or getting over him in any way.

But I am trusting the process. I am trusting and the future is indeed going to be a better place and there is no way in hell that I am going back to that past/situation again.

That is what Jobs is trying to say. You may not feel like the process is working and the healing is happening, but you need to have faith in the process. 

Have faith in the idea that it does indeed get better and there will be a time when, looking back, you will be able to connect the dots. You will be able to see how you healed and how you learnt to love again.

The last part of the speech takes quite a dramatic turn and when I first listened to it, I was in a place of total despair, and this affected me quite strongly.

He says:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. 

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

And every time I have truly listened to that, I have believed it. I have never felt to humbled by the idea of life itself.

Try it and see. Ask yourself that if this was going to be your last day on Earth, what would you do? Ofcourse, this doesn't mean that you max out all your credit cards and have a go at robbing the local bank dressed like Catwoman.

It is the idea that whatever is holding you back from doing what you truly want to do simply doesn't matter. IT DOESN'T MATTER.

So ask yourself that question. Look into the mirror and ask yourself if you are truly living as you wish to. If you were dead tomorrow, would you have truly lived?

The speech is a miracle in itself, but it can be your miracle if you take the right lessons from it. It is the tool, the rule-book and the Step-by-Step guide to the rest of your life. Choose to use it.