There are many possible activities that you can try:
- Sports/gym
- Art
- Reading
- Writing
- Starting another hobby
- Going back to a hobby you have neglected
- Socialising
The list is seemingly endless.
But what didn't work for me was doing everything on the list. I was so afraid of having spare time when I'll get bored - and hence start revisiting the ghosts of relationship past, that I signed up for anything and everything.
I would leave at 9am and return at 10 or 11pm so exhausted that I would simply collapse into bed.
But as 'busy' as I was, I still thought about him almost every moment of every day. I would be in the gym with music blasting through my ears and I would be thinking about when he used to try and persuade me to go to the gym with him and wish that I had gone.
It took time, but eventually, I realised that it wasn't working. I was pushing myself too far and it was taking its toll on my health without being particularly helpful to my recovery.
Sure, I was meeting more people, but I often didn't have the chance to cultivate those relationships because I had to be somewhere else almost all the time.
Then I tried a different tactic. I focused on the activities that I genuinely enjoyed. I started painting again. It was something I had enjoyed many years ago and I wanted to try it again.
It is easy to become busy enough to forget the pain, but it follows you and haunts you throughout. I realised that even when I had a few minutes free, all the pain would come rushing back and sometimes that sudden "it's-all-coming-back-to-me" moment was so powerful that it would knock me sideways into depression.
What is important is that you find your identity again after a break-up. You must spend time being good to you and helping your self-esteem recover. Spend time doing everything and anything you had to think twice about when you were in a relationship - book a holiday abroad, take our those sexy heels and go on a girls night out!
Often, as was the case with me, we forget who we are in a bid to keep the other person happy. We subconsciously start to neglect our needs and become happy doing whatever the other person wants to do. Life is about so much more than that!
So, take a breath, and go out and do what you want. Lose the fear of their being something wrong with who you are and start to believe in yourself again.
Your time is now, honey, believe it.
It is easy to become busy enough to forget the pain, but it follows you and haunts you throughout. I realised that even when I had a few minutes free, all the pain would come rushing back and sometimes that sudden "it's-all-coming-back-to-me" moment was so powerful that it would knock me sideways into depression.
What is important is that you find your identity again after a break-up. You must spend time being good to you and helping your self-esteem recover. Spend time doing everything and anything you had to think twice about when you were in a relationship - book a holiday abroad, take our those sexy heels and go on a girls night out!
Find who you are.
Often, as was the case with me, we forget who we are in a bid to keep the other person happy. We subconsciously start to neglect our needs and become happy doing whatever the other person wants to do. Life is about so much more than that!
It is about discovering your inner needs and making sure you achieve your dreams too, rather than helping people build theirs and forgetting about yours.
So, take a breath, and go out and do what you want. Lose the fear of their being something wrong with who you are and start to believe in yourself again.
Your time is now, honey, believe it.
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